Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Dear Mamas-that-struggle

I see you.

To the Mama who doesn’t do mornings well, but kills it all the rest of the time, I see you.
When you try to plan and do it well at this “most important (meal) time of the day” but the kid is running to the bus stop still eating and may or may not have brushed all the teeth and lunch will be dropped off to school later. And the kid wants to ride the bus at an UNGODLY
hour because s/he isn’t getting enough social time because the teacher actually wants there to be a place for learning instead of a daily party! *Gasp, I know*

To the Mama who volunteers as much as she can, I see you.
The house is sometimes a mess because there WILL be good things in this community! The one who wants to love on as many kids as she can and do the best she can and some meetings feels on top of the world but other meetings are filled with embarrassment because things haven’t always been done perfectly/well. And then you remember that you were the one who was giving stank-eye about frustrated with the not-perfectly-done things a few years ago and you remember to give some grace. To everyone involved.

To the Mama who decided to work from home because it would be the best of both worlds. Yep. I see you too!
What a blessing that you enjoy getting to hear the cartoons/Minecraft over the conference call that you are trying to mute in time to answer the question after the door is opened by an eager sweet-faced child who “forgot” you were on the phone. Forgot for the second time in 10 minutes. The house was going to always be clean and the laundry always done and the menu always planned because you could take breaks and toss in some laundry. (Seriously...also awesome if you found a good detergent that KEEPS YOUR CLOTHES FROM MILDEWING! Because you’ll never actually get the clothes as “done” as you hoped)

To the Mama who is dealing with chronic illness/pain. Boy, do I see you.
Your good day looks like “everyone’s” worst day and no one understands. There was a time when you could do everything but not anything seems like a BIG old challenge. You say yes when you forget that you barely can make it to supper time. Doctors give you a muted smile but really just get tired of not having any new answers and you don’t really have the money to do all the things that might help. But if you don’t, how bad will it get.

To the Mama who looks like she is perfect it but is dying inside. I see you.
It is from afar because you are scared to let me in, but I see you. While all the other Mamas aren’t sure how to be around you because you are trying so hard to keep up appearances that warm is hard to pull off and when all the insecurities bump into the bruises of each other it gets all kinds of messy. I know you just want to let it all out but are SO scared that when the proverbial poop hits the fan, it will get way too messy and you’ll just have to spend all your time cleaning. But you don’t realize that it is more like a 2 liter of soda that you can let little bits of pressure off rather than blowing up on everyone.

To the woman who wants to be a Mama but isn’t. The one whose body betrays her monthly, I see you.
I know your turmoil about adoption and fertility treatments and how-in-the-world-did-another-12-year-old-have-a-baby-when-you-can’t and your fear of hoping. It sure isn’t what you dreamed and it is always raw. You fear people don’t know what to do with you because they have said some really dumb things. If I could hug you, we’d both lose it. So much an ugly cry.

I know it sounds cliche but I’ll say it! I am SO GLAD that I serve a God who sees these women. I believe it to the core. God sees you. God loves you. God’s followers will mess it up because we are not even close to perfect. And yet, we’re trying. See, we are these women, too. Today I am committing to make space for the Spirit so that I can make space for these women.

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